Woman’s Parents Invite Her Boyfriend Over for Christmas, Help Pay for His Flights. But He Refuses to Buy Them a $15 Gift

Managing expectations around the holidays can be crucial, especially when balancing family relationships and romantic ones.

On Reddit, a 26-year-old woman explained that she has been dating her 25-year-old boyfriend for nearly a year and a half.

“He came to my family’s Christmas up in NY last year and my parents, grandparents, and I gave him lots of presents,” she wrote.

While the couple lived in George, a few months ago, her boyfriend “moved to a new state to pursue a job opportunity offering him a salary over 100k.”

While she “was very excited for him,” she made it clear that she “didn’t like doing long distance.”

So, with the holidays coming up, it was important to her that they spend them together. Since his family “has never celebrated Christmas,” she invited him to her family celebration for the second year in a row.

“My parents said they would chip in $300 towards his flight so he could celebrate christmas with us and wouldn’t be alone,” she wrote. “I told him this and he said I could go ahead and buy the flight for him and he’ll pay whatever is left (about $150).”

However, when she approached him about getting her parents a small thank-you gift for their generosity, he shot her down.

“I asked him if he wants to chip $15-20 in on a gift with me for my father, and he said he wasn’t planning on getting my parents anything,” she wrote.

“I know I am not entitled to his money but I feel like my parents have been so generous and giving, and it hurts my feelings that he doesn’t want to give them a Christmas present,” she continued. “I should also mention that both my parents have offered to take us both on trips abroad to 2 different countries he’s never been to before, which is very expensive.”

The woman shared that to her, it’s not about the money, but more about “reciprocity, effort, and respect.” 

The woman is “disappointed” because she believed he would be excited to give them a gift and “make a good impression.”

“Am I being a stuck up and privileged snob? I hope I’m not acting entitled,” she asked Reddit. However, nearly everyone in the comments section took her side, agreeing that he should get her parents a small token of appreciation.

“If they’re buying him a flight, hosting him, etc then yes he should in some way express appreciation via a gift or something,” one person wrote. 

“Your boyfriend is cheap. All I can say is you better get used to it. Anyone who won’t chip in 20 bucks for a gift after these people pay 300.00 of his airfare is cheap. Open and shut,” another commenter wrote.