Woman Helped ‘Struggling Mom’ Buy Gifts for Her Kids. When She Refuses to Do It Again, Mom ‘Blows Up’ and Feels ‘Insulted’

A woman isn’t sure she did anything wrong when she doesn’t help a “struggling mom” buy Christmas presents for her kids.

The original poster (OP) explained on Reddit’s AITA that she’d helped out the mom two years ago when she reached out in a local Facebook group. The mom had asked for help buying Christmas gifts for her daughter, and OP decided to help out.

Then the next year, the mom had welcomed her second baby and had to quit her job to care for her sick mom. She told OP she’d sold her car so she and her husband could make ends meet and asked if she could help her again. OP decided to help her buy the presents again.

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After the second Christmas, the mom sent OP a thank you and friended her on Facebook. OP could then see that her profile was full of TikTok posts that showed her life as a micro-influencer. There were a lot of videos of the mom doing designer shopping hauls, displaying expensive nails and trying out expensive coffee shops. OP felt betrayed and didn’t know how to proceed.

Two weeks ago, the mom again reached out to OP and asked if she could once more help her buy presents for her two kids. OP didn’t answer right away, but didn’t want to ghost her, so she responded and told her that she wouldn’t be helping her this year. She said she told her that it’s “clear to me that your inability to afford Christmas gifts for your girls stems from irresponsible financial decisions, not being down on your luck like you’ve claimed.”

OP apologized and advised her to try shopping at cheaper places. However, the mom got very offended and “blew up” at OP for “being so insulting.” OP said the mom called her an a—— for shaming her when she’s trying to make money at being an influencer. She then shamed OP on the local Facebook group, doxxing her by posting her name and a snapshot of her Facebook profile.

OP said she hasn’t responded yet because she doesn’t know if it’s better to defend herself or expose the woman. She said she doesn’t think she’s in the wrong here, but wants to know if she should’ve just helped out again because she has a stable job and this person is just a young mom.

In her comments, many agreed that OP was not in the wrong and that she shouldn’t have helped out more than once.

“NTA. You should not have helped last year. I have 3 kids. They have not always gotten everything they would have liked but at no point did I beg strangers to buy them stuff,” one person wrote.

“There are actual charities out there that she could sign up for. If she doesn’t qualify for them, that is probably because she is wasting her money instead of spending it on her kids,” they added.

Another said that the mom is essentially scamming OP and that she “needed” to be called out.

“NTA – called her on her BS. Needed to be called out. She responds with slander. I would have been nuclear and nastier about exposing her,” they said. “She is essentially trying to scam people with her false claim because she is unable be responsible. I pity those kids.”

A third said that OP wasn’t in the wrong, but added that she could’ve handled the situation better.

“NTA, but I don’t think you handled it all that well either. You could have just kept it at ‘I’m unfortunately no longer able to help you.’ You didn’t have to give her the reason, and then she probably wouldn’t have blown up, plus she would have less to use against you,” they said.

“Do defend yourself in the group against her claims. You don’t have to go on attack, but I would give any proof you have/ safe your own reputation/ make her give proof (as long as none exists of course).”