You know the scene. You’re sipping your morning coffee the day after another Georgia Bulldog victory, perusing the reaction pieces and scouring the internet for injury updates, when it hits you, “Hey! Dawg Sports hasn’t done that snarky Sunday piece where they pretend to know what the other team’s coach was thinking.”
Well friends, we’ve been there and done that with Steve Sarkisian. To the point that it almost seems mean to pick on him once again. So instead, we decided to pick on his boss. No, not Texas athletic director Chris Del Conte. No, I want to know what this guy was thinking:
For the three of you who haven’t seen Dazed & Confused, The Wolf of Wall Street, or a single Texas Longhorn football game in the past ten years, that is UT superfan Matthew McConaughey in the third quarter of his Longhorns’ 35-10 drubbing at the hands of your Georgia Bulldogs. I ask you…
What. Was. Wooderson. Thinking?
a) “Kirby’s out here making special teams magic and our special teams coordinator’s defending monkey attack lawsuits.”
b) “Is it possible Arch is adopted? Because that would explain some things…..”
c) “Man, you just gotta keep on punting. P-u-n-t-i-n!“
d) To Texas defensive coordinator Pete Kwiatkowski, “Pete do you have any sort of answer for Mike Bobo’s Thomasville Kung fu?” To himself after being met with a blank stare, “ Be a lot cooler if you did…”
e) “What kind of kickoff was that?!? Fugayzi, it’s a fake! It’s a whazy. It’s a woozie. It’s fairy dust. It doesn’t exist. It’s never landed. It is no matter. It’s not on the elemental chart. It’s not real!!!!”
As always we welcome your submissions in the comments.
Go ‘Dawgs!!!
