Tim Allen Says He ‘Should Have Gone into the Military Rather Than Prison’ but Jokes ‘It Is the Same Sort of Thing’

Tim Allen is reflecting on his past decisions.

During an appearance on the Monday, Oct. 27 episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the Shifting Gears star, 72, revealed that in addition to acting, he has a second passion that he pursues on the side. When host Jimmy Kimmel brought up that Allen has said he “can drive anything with a motor,” he explained that his interest particularly pertains to military machinery.

“I love [nonprofit] Wounded Warriors, I love helping our vets, I love anything I can do,” Allen said before joking, “I should have gone into the military rather than prison. I had a choice and prison is the way I went.”

“It is the same sort of thing — food is kind of weird and you have to wear a uniform and all that,” he then quipped, going on to note the opportunities he has since had to live out his dreams: “The Marines down in Palmdale let me drive an Abrams tank, which was the best part of my life. I drove that, an F18 hornet, they let me do airliner rolls. And a sub. They let me take a sub down.”

Allen has previously spoken about his two-year stint behind bars after pleading guilty to drug trafficking charges in his 20s. In 2021, he opened up about his past struggle with substance abuse during an episode of the WTF with Marc Maron podcast.

“I was an eff up,” Allen told host Marc Maron.

“After my old man died, I really just played games with people and told adults what they wanted to hear and then stole their booze,” he continued. “Really I was Eddie Haskell [from Leave it to Beaver]: ‘Yes, Mrs. Cleaver. No, Mrs. Cleaver,’ I knew exactly what adults wanted — make your bed, be polite, use a napkin — and then I’d go steal everything in the house.”

The actor is now 27 years sober, but at the time, he revealed that he began drinking at the age of 10 when he saw cowboy movies that showed men riding horses and drinking whisky.

“That stuff’s gotta be pretty damn refreshing,” he recalled thinking as a kid.

His father was killed in a car crash when Allen was 11, and by then, he said he was already an experienced drinker: “I was lost.”

Allen was arrested in 1978, at the age of 25, at the Kalamazoo/Battle Creek International Airport in Michigan with over a pound of cocaine in his luggage. He pleaded guilty to the charges and was sent to federal prison for two years and four months.

“I just shut up and did what I was told,” he said of his incarceration. “It was the first time ever I did what I was told and played the game… I learned literally how to live day by day. And I learned how to shut up. You definitely want to learn how to shut up.”

“I don’t say this lightly and anybody who has been incarcerated [knows], it’s surprising what the human being will get used to,” Allen added. “Eventually after eight months, I got used to it. There were okay times. Saturday we got better food. Eventually, I went from a holding cell arrangement to my own cell.”

Looking back, the Home Improvement alum said he is “grateful” that he got sober because “I love my life.”

“I’m not any more mentally stable, I have the same issues I had,” he teased. “Now, I can’t hide from them.”

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If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.