TikTok Star Who Lied About Having Cancer Tearfully Apologizes in Emotional Video: ‘I Was Lost’

An influencer from the U.K. has apologized for lying about having cancer back in 2017.

Brittany Miller, 29 — who has 3.5 million followers on TikTok — fought back tears in a clip shared on the social media site on Monday, Nov. 10, as she revealed her “truth” after it was reported that she’d previously said she’d been diagnosed with the disease.

While speaking in her recent video, the mother of two — who regularly posts about her love of British comfort food, including fish and chips and Sunday roast dinners — insisted that she had “bad mental health” when she made up the diagnosis and now deeply regrets it.

“Back in 2017, I had extremely bad mental health and at the time I didn’t realize how bad, but it was bad,” Miller explained.

“I was depressed, I was suicidal, I was lost, I was confused,” she added. “I’d lost my partner, I’d lost my job, and there was lots of things in that year that led me to be mentally ill.”

Miller said that she’d told someone in her immediate circle that she’d been diagnosed with cancer. 

“One stupid sentence that I deeply regret,” she said.

“I said I had an illness, which was cancer,” she recalled.

The content creator said she “didn’t do this for malicious intent, or to scam people,” after it was reported that a fundraising page had been set up to raise money for her treatment.

“I did this out of desperation, I did it to keep the people close to me… to keep the people in my life close to me,” Miller said, insisting she doesn’t “condone it.”

“This was not a long-running scam or a manipulative story like it’s been made out to be,” she told the camera,

“The people that I told then told a couple of others, and there was a fundraising page made on behalf of me, which I knew about. As soon as I saw there was donations — there was two donations — I had the page immediately shut down,” Miller continued. “I didn’t take a penny from it.”

“I forgive myself because I was mentally ill and I am so deeply sorry to anyone that I’ve upset or triggered from saying what I said,” she shared, insisting this took place years before she was on social media, so she didn’t do this “for likes or followers.”

“I know how horrible this disease is, and I know how much it affects people, so for that I am so, so sorry,” Miller said.

She explained how she’d moved away from her hometown a year after this happened to try and “be mentally well again” and surround herself with people “that were [going to] help me.”

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After praising her partner, Ash Griffiths, for his help amid her mental health journey, the influencer said, “I am mentally well again, and I’m so proud of [how far] I’ve come. From being in that dark place, to now.” She told her followers that she wants to help people and be an “advocate for mental health,” as well as thanking those who have stuck by her and supported her.

“If I could go back and change what I did, I would do it in a heartbeat. It was one stupid sentence that I said almost a decade ago, and I’ve learnt so much from it,” Miller said.

“I’m so, so grateful for you all, and I really, really love you so, so much,” she finished up by saying.

PEOPLE has reached out to Miller for further comment.

If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.