Another week of college football in the greatest conference in America has come to a close and another one dawns. Now it’s time to take stock in a single sentence of where each SEC team stands. Let’s do it.
Alabama: Toyed around with a wounded Tiger and as you would expect it wasn’t so much gripping as just sort of sad.
Arkansas: The Razorbacks will be playing at LSU this weekend and somehow after firing their head coach five weeks into the season they still won’t be the most downtrodden fanbase involved.
Auburn: On the bright side, their losing streak to Diego Pavia is only 1/3 as long as their losing streak to Georgia.
Florida: Somebody absolutely had to save Mark Stoops’ job, might as well be the Gators.
Georgia: I don’t know about you but I find the cowbells just lovely when Mississippi State fans are holding them limply as they trudge out of the stadium right after halftime.
Kentucky: Three weeks ago Mark Stoops was as good as fired and now Kentucky has a reasonable shot at a bowl game, which is why he’s the college football coach horror movie villains who think they’re hard to kill actually admire.
LSU: Normally a loss like this to Alabama would end with the Bayou Bengals head coach covered in Tony Chachere’s and deep fried but at this point I just don’t think they even have the heart for it.
Mississippi State: Turns out Mike Bobo is the playcalling wizard they told you Jeff Lebby would be, and that’s makes a certain segment of both Mississippi State and Georgia fans a little upset.
Oklahoma: The matchup up Ryan Grubb’s Alabama offense and Brent Venables’ Oklahoma defense this weekend should be the kind of must see TV we haven’t watched since Friends and Seinfeld.
Ole Miss: The Gators are coming to town and Lane’s going to audition for the job by hanging half a hundred on them.
Missouri: Facing the Texas A&M defense with a freshman backup quarterback was never going to be easy and Missouri didn’t make it any easier by giving up 38 points.
South Carolina: “Can you imagine being a South Carolina football fan and actually expecting good things in this life, no of course not, me neither” he asked as the ‘Cocks prepare to take on #3 Texas A&M.
Tennessee: In true Josh Heupel fashion they’ll score a bajillion points on New Mexico State this weekend, but it won’t be enough to get them back in the playoff picture.
Texas: Really looking forward to seeing this face again.
Texas A&M: Took care of business against a hobbled Mizzou and remain in the driver’s seat in the SEC, shouting incomprehensible gibberish all the way.
Vanderbilt: Vanderbilt now leads the all-time series against Auburn 23-22-1 and I for one have been laughing about that at least twice a day since Saturday.
Go ’Dawgs!!!
