Husband Calls Wife a ‘Sexy Chunky Monkey’ in Bed. Now He Says Her Anger Points to a ‘Double Standard’

A husband sought support from the Reddit community after a tense argument with his wife unfolded in the middle of what was supposed to be an intimate moment.

He explained in his post that both he and his wife had always appreciated each other’s bodies, but they also carried their own insecurities, which made the situation especially sensitive.

“She’s still very insecure about it, and I’m very insecure about my own weight,” he wrote, noting that their physical differences had never been a point of conflict until recently. Now he feels there’s a “double standard” in place.

According to the poster, his wife had started weaving comments about his body into their dirty talk, which made him uncomfortable. “I told her a few times that I don’t like it but she keeps dismissing it,” he shared, adding that she even accused him of being “too insensitive” when he tried to express how the remarks made him feel.

Hoping she would understand how hurtful the comments were, he decided to flip the script during their next intimate moment. “During sex, I called her a ‘sexy chunky monkey,’ and I jiggled her love handles,” he said, explaining that it was something he never imagined saying to any woman because it risked making her feel bad. When he saw the look on her face, he immediately realized the impact it had.

Afterward, his wife confronted him, telling him the comment was cruel. He responded by asking why the things she had been saying to him were acceptable. “She said it’s different since I’m a man and she’s a woman,” he recounted, noting that she pointed to the broader stigma against plus-size women.

He told her he understood the stigma but didn’t believe their private interactions should be governed by those outside pressures. “I’m not one of the people responsible for the stigma against plus-size women,” he explained, emphasizing that he only wanted the same care and consideration he gave her. When he tried to express how dismissing his feelings was unfair, the argument deepened.

According to the husband, his wife accused him of trying to ruin their sex life.

“She asked me why I’m trying to ruin our sex life. I told her I restrain my kinks to avoid making her uncomfortable so she should do the same for me,” he wrote. “She said that I’m trying to put her down because I like having an ‘insecure fat wife.’

When he asked if she was putting him down so she could have an “insecure fat husband,” she denied it instantly. He pressed further, asking what the difference was, and again she pointed to gender. “She said she’s a woman and I’m a man,” he recalled, noting how that explanation didn’t resolve anything for him and left him questioning whether he had crossed a line.

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In the comments, one Reddit user didn’t hold back. “You flipped the roles and she still doesn’t care that she’s hurting your feelings during sex. It’s not ok just because you are a man,” the commenter wrote, calling the wife a “major AH” for the double standard.

The husband responded with genuine disappointment, saying, “I honestly thought flipping the roles would help her see why I don’t like it when she does it and she’ll stop doing it. I honestly didn’t expect an argument.”