Bride’s Mother-in-Law Wants to Keep Cash Gifts from Wedding Guests that She Invited Because She’s Loaning the Couple $30K

A bride’s soon-to-be mother-in-law is demanding the couple hand over their monetary wedding gifts.

In a post on Reddit’s wedding drama forum, a bride explained that she and her partner are hosting an approximately $80,000 wedding in Singapore, with $30,000 in financial support from the groom’s mother. Because she’s helping pay for the celebration, the groom’s mother is insisting that she keeps a portion of the couple’s monetary gifts.

The bride is from Singapore, and noted that it’s customary to give cash as a gift for practical reasons but also as a symbol of prosperity and good wishes, the bride clarified. Furthermore, she recognized that $80,000 is a steep price to pay for a wedding, but in her culture, it’s actually considered about mid-range due to the size of the event and all the associated details.

Of the estimated 500 guests, the mother-in-law invited 300 of her family, friends and church members. She contends she should get to keep the monetary gifts they provide.

“Her reason is that she has previously given them gifts when she attended their occasions, so she feels those returns belong to her,” the bride wrote.

However, the bride’s concern is that the gifts from the estimated 300 people invited by the groom’s mother will total more than the $30,000 the groom’s mother originally contributed — essentially resulting in the groom’s mother turning a profit from the wedding.

The groom’s mother’s approach would place a bigger financial burden on the wedding couple, the bride wrote, “while she recovers more than what she contributed, and still expects repayment on top of that,” the bride added.

“It does not feel balanced or fair, especially when my side does not even reach 100 guests, and my parents are not contributing financially at all,” the bride wrote.

In the comments, one user pointed out the unreasonableness of the mother’s rationale: “She chose to give gifts to others. It has nothing to do with you or your wedding,” they wrote. Another added that the parents’ contribution to the wedding is often considered their gift to the couple.

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Ultimately, the bride shared in an update, the couple decided to postpone the wedding until June 2027, and decreasing the size of the guest list. The couple is also refusing the $30,000 contribution from the groom’s mother, so she’ll have no hand in the decisions. Once the couple shared their choice with the groom’s mother, she realized what she was asking was unfair, the bride added.