Bride Is ‘Terrified’ Her Sister Is Going to Humiliate Her at Her Wedding: ‘Genuinely Scared’

One bride is losing sleep over her upcoming wedding — and what her sister might do during the celebration.

In a recent post on Reddit, the bride-to-be explained that she’s getting married next fall, and while she “loves” her sister, “she has always had a way of joking at my expense,” the original poster (OP) wrote.

“For years she has made ‘jokes’ at my expense that she insists are harmless, but they’ve always hurt,” she continued, revealing that “the most recent one really broke me: I told her some really exciting news about my wedding ring first thing in the morning, and she made a comment implying that my fiancé (42M) might not actually want to marry me. She claims it was a joke, but it made me cry and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.”

With the wedding quickly approaching, the bride is conflicted about how to handle her sister’s role in the ceremony. “I’m genuinely worried about giving her any sort of bigger role at my wedding,” she shared, before listing why. “I do not trust her with a speech. She won’t be doing one in any situation. I’m terrified she’ll say something ‘funny’ and inappropriate in front of everyone and I’ll be mortified on my own wedding day. I don’t want to spend my wedding day stressed, embarrassed, or trying to keep her under control.”

But the bride’s concerns don’t stop at the speech. She’s also concerned she will drink too much at the ceremony and the bride will wind up “babysitting her.”

The sisters have “talked loosely” about her being in the wedding party, but the OP hasn’t officially asked her yet. “I was her maid of honor, and I feel this huge pressure not to “rock the boat” in my family. I don’t want to create drama or have people blame me for her being upset if she isn’t included,” she wrote.

The OP concluded her post by explaining that she’s “genuinely scared” her sister will ruin her day “with a comment, with drinking, or just by making everything about herself like she has in the past.”

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

The anxious bride-to-be added, “I want to be excited about my wedding party, not anxious about managing someone. I’m scared people will be mad at me or think I’m being cruel. I’m scared she’ll take it personally, even though this is coming from years of built-up hurt. I’m also scared that she will make a big scene.”

Commenters encouraged the woman not to make her sister a part of the wedding party, adding that her fears are valid. “Absolutely do not ask her and you need to ask the DJ, emcee, and whoever else you trust to keep microphones away from her at any cost. And have someone you trust throw interference if she tries to do anything during the reception,” wrote one person,

They added, “I’d also have a heart to heart with her before the wedding, just you and her, and you tell her that any jones at your expense will not be tolerated and will forever alter your relationship if she does not respect your wishes.”

A second said, “Don’t ask her to be in the bridal party. In fact, I’d start distancing yourself from her before you have kids. She’ll treat them the way she treats you. If she doesn’t like the consequences for behaving badly, maybe she’ll grow up.”