Influencer Paige Carlene Responds to Followers’ Requests That She Donate Her Baby Items After Son’s Death: ‘Our Grief Is Still Fresh’

Influencer Paige Carlene is asking her social media followers to respect her and her family’s boundaries as she mourns the death of her newborn son.

Paige welcomed twin boys, Austin and Bubba, on Oct. 27. The boys were born at 25 weeks, weighing 1lb 14oz and 1lb 13oz. On Nov. 27, Paige and her husband, Garris, announced on Instagram that their son, Austin, had died at 31 days old. “[He] was not with us for long, but will be loved for a lifetime,” Paige wrote in memory of her son.

Two months after Austin’s death, Paige shared on Instagram that some of her social media followers have requested that she donate his bassinet and other baby items.

“Since losing our son Austin, I’ve received countless messages asking for the extra bassinet and the Twin Z pillow we have, along with ‘anything else we may have of his,’ ” Paige’s statement began on Wednesday, Jan. 28. “Messages saying, ‘Since you can’t use it anymore, could I have it?’ Or ‘My baby really needs it.’ Or even ‘You don’t need that reminder in your house. let me take it off your hands.’ ”

She explained that having his presence “still feels like yesterday,” and “it feels like no time has passed at all” since his death.

“I still wake up every day missing him. I still go to sleep every night aching for him,” Paige said. “Grief does not move on a schedule, and love does not fade with time.”

“Those items are not just things,” she stated. “That bassinet is where my baby was supposed to sleep. Where he was supposed to stretch his arms, make little noises in his sleep, wake up crying, be soothed, be held. That pillow is where our twins were supposed to be together, side by side, sharing bottles, naps, laughter, and life.”

“Those weren’t ‘extra’ items. They were for him. They were meant for our boys. And that future was taken from us,” she wrote.

She explained that “letting go” of those items will feel like “letting go of another piece of Austin,” which she is not prepared for, and feels “nowhere near ready” to do. “I don’t know when I will be and I don’t know if I ever truly will be,” she admitted.

Paige said that Austin’s belongings are “reminders of how deeply he is loved” and “not reminders we’re trying to get rid of.”

“Austin may no longer be here physically, but he is still our son. He still belongs in our home,” she wrote. “His presence is still felt here. And his things still hold meaning, memories, and dreams that were never fulfilled.”

The influencer acknowledged that she’s aware that most people’s “intentions are good” and that they “don’t mean harm when they ask.”

“But asking a grieving parent to give away something that belonged to their child, especially so soon, cuts deeper than you may realize,” she said, before noting, “Sharing your need or your story does not make us more ready. It only reminds us of what we lost.”

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The mother said that if the “day ever comes” that the family decides to give the items away, “it will be done with love, intention, and respect, given to someone who understands the weight of where it came from.”

“But that day is not today,” she wrote, before asking, “Please give us grace. Please give us time. Please understand that our grief is still fresh, our love is still overwhelming, and our hearts are still healing.”

“Austin is still so very loved. And right now, holding onto his things is one of the ways we hold onto him.”