Jelly Roll Reveals He Was ‘Falling Apart’ While Touring Australia: ‘I Want to Go Home’

Jelly Roll is opening up about the toll his recent Australian tour took on his mental health.

The “I Am Not Okay” singer, 40, explained on a podcast that he found his time Down Under to be rather lonely, with his bad time made worse by a stomach illness.

“I’m falling apart. It’s a horrible week. I’m doing the worst mentally I’ve done in a long time,” he said on the No Filter with Kate Langbroek podcast on Nov. 9. “I’m really far from home and it’s really hitting me that I’m really far from home, like in an anxious way… I’m not having fun and I want to go home.”

It’s unclear when the podcast was filmed, but Jelly Roll performed six shows in Australia from Oct. 25 to Nov. 4, his first-ever concerts in the country. He was scheduled to play a show in Auckland, New Zealand on Nov. 8 to wrap things up, but was forced to cancel due to illness.

On the podcast, the country star (né Jason DeFord) said the trip abroad had “f—-d my stomach up,” which in turn had messed with his mental health.

“When my stomach’s not right, nothing’s right. My mind’s not right. Everything. I’m just not thinking clear,” he said.

When canceling the Auckland show, he did not reveal details as to his illness, but wrote on Instagram, “I’ve done everything I can. I just can’t shake it. It breaks my heart, I’ve probably missed three shows in the last decade. I pride myself on showing up no matter what. Just couldn’t do it this time. Please forgive me.”

On the podcast, Jelly Roll added that he was working on his breathing and “talking myself through” his illness, but was also upset by the fact that he was traveling through Australia with no tour buses.

“I’m like, having to be super isolated. I don’t like it,” he said. “I’m like, spending a lot of time in my hotel room by myself, just in my head. I don’t like it. I miss my family a ton.”

He went on to say that feeling unwell made him want to go back home.

“Everybody wants to go home when they’re sick. That’s just in us,” he said. “I just don’t feel good, so I just want to go home.”

Jelly Roll, who for many years was not able to leave the country due to his past run-ins with the law, booked his first international shows in 2024 in Canada.

The star’s legal history includes various drug-related charges and arrests, plus a number of stints in jail for crimes including drug possession and aggravated robbery.

“It’s funny, America has finally agreed to let me leave and give me a passport, but some countries won’t let me come because of my felonies,” he said in a 2024 Interview magazine conversation with Jon Bon Jovi. “We’re working on that. I think it’s going to work in my favor.”

The star currently has three shows coming up, including a festival in Mexico City on Nov. 15, a Las Vegas performance on New Year’s Eve, and a festival in New Mexico in May.