Woman Says She’s Struggling to Turn Friendly Chats at Work and School Drop-Offs into Real Friendships

A woman is at a loss after struggling to make friends.

Having noticed that she’s never been invited to outings with her work colleagues or to spend time with the other moms at her child’s school, the woman confessed in a post on Mumsnet that she’s finding it “really hard” to turn friendly chatter into real friendships.

The woman said she’s tried to invite people to events, walks and for drinks after striking up a conversation, but they never respond or agree to her suggested plans, even if they’re child-friendly.

“It makes me a bit sad, my SIL [sister-in-law] for example, has a whole host of friends they’re always going over each other’s, on holidays, days out etc., but if we invite them out or over, they’re always busy, etc.,” the woman wrote.

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She then said a colleague joined her company less than a month ago and is already being invited on nights out. 

The woman now thinks others don’t want to spend time with her unless obligated. “Yes, I get it… the problem must be me … But I don’t know what it is that makes me not really have friends,” she wrote.

In the comments section of the Mumsnet post, many said they could relate to the woman’s situation.

“I’ve always had this exact same issue,” one person said. “People do seem to enjoy my company when we talk, but we never get to the point of friendship.”

“I can relate to this,” another commented. “Making new friends as an adult is difficult. I don’t think anyone finds it easy. So it’s ok to struggle with it, but don’t give up.”

Other responses to the post attempted to give the woman practical advice.

“Maybe you’re a bit different? I always think 70% of people are ‘normal’ and 30 % are ‘a bit different,’ ” one person wrote.

They continued, “If you’re in the 30%, you might not fit in with the school gate crowd, but you will … slowly … make a few friends in your special interest group … wild swimming, choir, hill walking, tennis, allotmenting … whatever.”

“So join some groups doing what you love … and see what happens after a couple of years,” the user added.