Dad Angry with New Mom Who Wants to Attend a 400-Person Halloween Party with 2-Month-Old Son

A woman sought advice from the Reddit community after a disagreement with her partner about whether it was appropriate for her to stay home during her sister’s massive Halloween party. 

The woman explained in her post that her younger sister, who is 16, was planning to host a party with more than 400 guests in their parents’ backyard.

She said the fenced-off area covered about half an acre and had previously been used for her sister’s 16th birthday, which drew around 150 people. “It was really controlled,” she recalled, noting that friends and family had helped serve as security during that smaller event.

At the time of that first party, she had been heavily pregnant — 38 weeks along — and still participated by helping out. Now, things were different. The woman said she has a 2 ½-month-old baby boy who’s breastfed and “really clingy.” She planned to attend the party again, but only from a safe distance on the other side of the fence, away from the crowd.

“I’m hoping to put him to bed by the time the party starts,” she explained. “But there’s also the possibility of me just having him in the carrier—and I will not be in the fenced off area where the party is, but on the other side of the fence with family and friends supervising.”

To ensure her baby’s comfort and safety, she said she had arranged to borrow a special accessory. “I’m also borrowing noise-canceling headphones from my cousin with a 3-month-old that they used to see monster trucks with their toddler when their 3-month-old was 2 weeks old,” she added.

However, her partner wasn’t happy with the plan. The woman said her baby’s father believed she was “putting the baby at risk” by staying home during the event, claiming the child’s hearing could be damaged by the loud music.

“In my defense, [the baby’s] routine is going to be screwed anyway that night because we co-sleep and our bedroom is not far from the DJ so neither of us will sleep,” she continued.

The woman also pointed out what she saw as a double standard in her relationship. “He’s been out at least twice a week partying since [the baby was] born,” she said. “And I have just been at home with zero sense of freedom, and this is the first thing I’ve looked forward to in forever.”

She emphasized that she wasn’t planning to join the party crowd or drink but simply wanted to be nearby with loved ones. “I just want some sort of freedom [I guess]?” she said.

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One commenter told her she was in the wrong, writing, “Your partner has expressed some valid concerns about why he feels this is an unsafe thing to do with an infant.” The person continued, “He’s right, and it’s important not to dismiss safety concerns voiced by our partner.”

However, the same commenter acknowledged that the woman’s frustration was understandable. “That said, if generally he gets to party and you don’t, that’s a separate issue and needs to be corrected,” they added. “If you are able to leave the baby with your partner and go out, he should absolutely support you in that.”

Another user asked for more details about the father’s role that night, writing, “Where’s the dad going to be in all this?” The original poster responded simply, “At his father’s house, he doesn’t want to be home for it.”