Are your Georgia Bulldogs headed to the Loveliest Little Post-apocalyptic Leper Colony on the Plains to face a Tiger team coming off a restorative bye week and looking for a signature win? If so you could probably use a drink. I can help you with that.
The 2025 Auburn Tigers are a bit of an odd lot. As we discussed in the preseason there’s a ton of talent on that team, especially in the receiving corps. And Hugh Freeze of course is known for nothing if not scoring points (and making extremely questionable phone calls from his state-issued cell phone). Yet the Plainsmen are currently 12th in the SEC in scoring offense and 14th in total offense.
Defensively the Tigers are 25th nationally in scoring defense, surrendering a stingy 16.4 points per game, and only20 points per game in a pair of tough losses to top 10 SEC opponents. Just enough offense? Solid, tough defense? Somehow, the Barners tried to build a Lamborghini and ended up with a college football F100 pickup that Pat Dye would have been proud of.
But if we’ve learned anything from historic trips to the Plains it is that the Orange and Navy are unpredictable (and marginally literate, but that’s not really germane to our deliberations). It’s the unpredictability that concerns me. Georgia has developed a bad habit this season of giving up some big plays, and for all their offensive anemia the fellows from the East Alabama School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good have actually been marginally explosive (creating 16 plays of 30+ yards on the season compared to Georgia’s 13).
The nightmare scenario for the Red and Black would be for the Tigers to hit an early big play or two and for the home crowd to get into the game and stay in it. We don’t want to open that door. Another fast start like the one last week against the Wildcats would be ideal. Then take the air out of the ball the rest of the way, sending people to the War Eagle Supper Club (is that still a thing?) early.
And what’s the drink for shutting the door on 88,000 Barners before they can ever really get cranked up?
A Shut the Barn Door.
You’ll need:
- 1 and 1/2 ounce of rye whiskey
- one dash of orange bitters
- 1 ounce of Cointreau
- 1 ounce of pineapple juice
Pour all ingredients in a cocktail shaker over ice, shake it like Cecil Newton trying to get the NCAA off his back, then pour into a cocktail glass and enjoy.
Go ‘Dawgs!!!
