Ashley Graham Says It Was ‘Tough’ but ‘Necessary’ Not Having Sex with Her Husband During Their 1 Year of Dating

Ashley Graham walked a line of boundaries when she started dating her now-husband, Justin Ervin.

During her appearance on the House of Maher podcast, the supermodel and mom of three, 38, opened up about the non-sexual approach she took when dating the cinematographer for one year before they got engaged and married in 2010.

Graham said it was “tough” abstaining from sex, even more so because she wasn’t a “virgin” by the time she had met Ervin. “But, it was so necessary,” she added.

“Because as you all know, you’re out in these streets and you’re doing exactly what I was doing and you’re trying to find the right gentleman to do life with,” the star continued. “I realized I’m doing this the incorrect way. I’m giving so much of my power away, and I’m tired of giving my power away. Let me hold onto it a little bit.”

When recalling the moment she told Ervin about her dating rule (or, in Graham’s words, broke the news that he was “not gonna get any of the kitty cat”), the Victoria’s Secret Angel said that he was totally on board. “He was like, ‘Oh, this is great. I don’t want to do that too until we’re married.’ ”

While advising the Maher sisters, Graham said, “If you want to have sex with somebody before you’re married, go for it, but make him work for it. Make him wait for something.”

In past interviews, Graham has been very honest about her sex life before and after her marriage. In a 2019 cover interview with Elle, she said of remaining abstinent, “Something that it did for us was build up our friendship, and it also built up our trust and communication.”

She added that “of course” they partook in other spicy activities like “heavily” kissing because they were “sexually attracted to each other,” but she wasn’t “worried about, ‘What’s sex gonna be like with him?’ It was more, ‘Do I trust him? Is he someone I want to be with for the rest of my life?’ ”

However, things changed when she eventually tied the knot. “I have found that if we haven’t had sex, we get snippy, and then if we are having sex, we’re all over each other,” she told the outlet at the time. “For us, it’s like, ‘Oh, let’s have sex.’ And then we’re just right back in a great mood.”

In 2016, Graham also told Entertainment Tonight that she didn’t want to get “lost in another relationship, and now I’m married because I want to be, not because I feel like I had to be. And now I’m having sex with a man because I want to be, not because I feel like I have to be.”

She also revealed that when it was time to do the deed, they were both ready to “pounce on each other” from the pent-up “sexual tension.”

Recently, the couple, who now share sons Isaac, 5, and 3-year-old twins Malachi and Roman, celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary. To mark the occasion, the pair, who live in New York, took a break from the big city and enjoyed some relaxing — and romantic — time in nature together.